Sept 4, 2019 4:43:36 GMT
Post by Brian Harris on Sept 4, 2019 4:43:36 GMT
The mall was a bad idea.
Brian had been doing better. Much better. Therapy, medication, and most of all, Lily, had greatly improved his mental health. He found he was able to go into coffee shops and clothing stores with much less difficulty (not that he could afford anything in there). It was a big step up from public parks and grocery stores. There were still some issues, yes. He still felt anxiety, and the voices always got worse in high stress situations, but everytime he went to a place like that, it got a little easier. His canine companion had assisted the most with this; she’d been instrumental. It had only been a couple weeks and he could hardly imagine life without her.
For perhaps the first time in his life, he’d gotten overconfident. He found all these other public establishments manageable, so he decided to take it up a notch. He didn’t realize until he was well into the building that he’d turned the notch up to eleven.
He stood outside the mall - already quite a busy area - and took a deep breath. He looked down at Lily, the leash in his hand connected to the large, red vest with the words ‘EMOTIONAL SUPPORT’ displayed in big, white letters. ”You ready, girl?” She looked back up at him with her big, droopy eyes and licked her lips. He gave her a little smile before looking at the doors ahead. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside.
”Yay! Mall!” Clara shouted.
”Oh, hush. You’ve been yelling about the mall every since Brian devised of the idea.” Sasha chided.
”’Cause I’m excited! We finally get to go to the mall!”
“Shut up. It’s annoying.” Dennis spat.
”You shut up!”
”Please be quiet everyone.” Brian muttered, walking into the crowd.
”There are a lot of people.” Tect stated.
There were a lot of people. Brian’s grip on Lily’s leash tightened. His jaw tensed. He could sense eyes on him. While Lily was a great help, she also drew a lot of attention. She was a large, traditionally scary looking dog (though Brian couldn’t possibly imagine her as scary) - a Cane Corso mixed with a pitbull and who knew what else - she was wide and muscular with big, drooly jowls and an enormous head. The emotional support vest didn’t help matters either. It was a worthwhile trade, but that didn’t mean Brian liked it. Still, he kept his sight set straight ahead, looking at no one, and walked deeper into the establishment.
Brian’s request for the voices to stay silent didn’t stay in effect for long. They started chatting quite incessantly. Their voices overlapped, and as Brian walked deeper and deeper into the mall, they started making less and less sense.
”They are watching.”
”Look at the lollipop.”
“Stupid fucking pricks killer stomping watermelon.”
”They are watching.”
”Such silly little scenes. How quaint. They dress proper. Look at the aura.”
”They are watching.”
Similarly, Brian’s brain was buzzing. He couldn’t get his thoughts straight. Everything was loud. Everything was screaming at him. The walls, the people, the shops, the colors; the collective, buzzing noise was both monotonous and cacophonous. It hurt. He needed to get out, but he was frozen. All he could do was keep walking forward. Slowly. Robotically. He wanted to run away screaming, but he was trapped in his own body.
Suddenly, he felt Lily pulling lightly on her leash. That was odd. Lily didn’t pull. He looked to see where she was going and saw a pair of doors leading outside. He didn’t question her. He let her lead him.
Stepping outside, he found that he could breathe again. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath before, but it was obvious his lungs were begging for oxygen as he found he had to take a moment to catch his breath before he could take in his surroundings. Said surroundings weren’t much. It was a concrete area with a trashcan and a bench and most importantly: no people, no shops; quiet. Cigarette butts littered the ground. He supposed this was where employees went on their breaks.
He sat down on the bench, trying to get his mind back together. The voices were still jabbering on, but they were lessening in severity. He started taking deep breaths, trying to center himself: mindfulness and all that. Lily sat down on the ground and looked up at him. Brian gave her a tight, pained smile, and pat the spot on the bench next to him. She hopped up and licked his face. He scratched her giant head, her stubby little tail started wagging. He gave his lap a pat, and she laid down on top of his legs; his large, muscular stature able to hold her one hundred and thirty pound weight. She drooled on his pant leg as he laid his head down on her’s and stroked her back, closing his eyes, breathing in deep, holding it, and letting out slowly, again and again and again and again.
Sunny Slater
Brian had been doing better. Much better. Therapy, medication, and most of all, Lily, had greatly improved his mental health. He found he was able to go into coffee shops and clothing stores with much less difficulty (not that he could afford anything in there). It was a big step up from public parks and grocery stores. There were still some issues, yes. He still felt anxiety, and the voices always got worse in high stress situations, but everytime he went to a place like that, it got a little easier. His canine companion had assisted the most with this; she’d been instrumental. It had only been a couple weeks and he could hardly imagine life without her.
For perhaps the first time in his life, he’d gotten overconfident. He found all these other public establishments manageable, so he decided to take it up a notch. He didn’t realize until he was well into the building that he’d turned the notch up to eleven.
He stood outside the mall - already quite a busy area - and took a deep breath. He looked down at Lily, the leash in his hand connected to the large, red vest with the words ‘EMOTIONAL SUPPORT’ displayed in big, white letters. ”You ready, girl?” She looked back up at him with her big, droopy eyes and licked her lips. He gave her a little smile before looking at the doors ahead. Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside.
”Yay! Mall!” Clara shouted.
”Oh, hush. You’ve been yelling about the mall every since Brian devised of the idea.” Sasha chided.
”’Cause I’m excited! We finally get to go to the mall!”
“Shut up. It’s annoying.” Dennis spat.
”You shut up!”
”Please be quiet everyone.” Brian muttered, walking into the crowd.
”There are a lot of people.” Tect stated.
There were a lot of people. Brian’s grip on Lily’s leash tightened. His jaw tensed. He could sense eyes on him. While Lily was a great help, she also drew a lot of attention. She was a large, traditionally scary looking dog (though Brian couldn’t possibly imagine her as scary) - a Cane Corso mixed with a pitbull and who knew what else - she was wide and muscular with big, drooly jowls and an enormous head. The emotional support vest didn’t help matters either. It was a worthwhile trade, but that didn’t mean Brian liked it. Still, he kept his sight set straight ahead, looking at no one, and walked deeper into the establishment.
Brian’s request for the voices to stay silent didn’t stay in effect for long. They started chatting quite incessantly. Their voices overlapped, and as Brian walked deeper and deeper into the mall, they started making less and less sense.
”They are watching.”
”Look at the lollipop.”
“Stupid fucking pricks killer stomping watermelon.”
”They are watching.”
”Such silly little scenes. How quaint. They dress proper. Look at the aura.”
”They are watching.”
Similarly, Brian’s brain was buzzing. He couldn’t get his thoughts straight. Everything was loud. Everything was screaming at him. The walls, the people, the shops, the colors; the collective, buzzing noise was both monotonous and cacophonous. It hurt. He needed to get out, but he was frozen. All he could do was keep walking forward. Slowly. Robotically. He wanted to run away screaming, but he was trapped in his own body.
Suddenly, he felt Lily pulling lightly on her leash. That was odd. Lily didn’t pull. He looked to see where she was going and saw a pair of doors leading outside. He didn’t question her. He let her lead him.
Stepping outside, he found that he could breathe again. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath before, but it was obvious his lungs were begging for oxygen as he found he had to take a moment to catch his breath before he could take in his surroundings. Said surroundings weren’t much. It was a concrete area with a trashcan and a bench and most importantly: no people, no shops; quiet. Cigarette butts littered the ground. He supposed this was where employees went on their breaks.
He sat down on the bench, trying to get his mind back together. The voices were still jabbering on, but they were lessening in severity. He started taking deep breaths, trying to center himself: mindfulness and all that. Lily sat down on the ground and looked up at him. Brian gave her a tight, pained smile, and pat the spot on the bench next to him. She hopped up and licked his face. He scratched her giant head, her stubby little tail started wagging. He gave his lap a pat, and she laid down on top of his legs; his large, muscular stature able to hold her one hundred and thirty pound weight. She drooled on his pant leg as he laid his head down on her’s and stroked her back, closing his eyes, breathing in deep, holding it, and letting out slowly, again and again and again and again.
Sunny Slater
