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Sky woke up early, she laid in bed watching the shadows from under the door of her room, it was still kind of dark but Sky didn't need the light on anyway. She was still, eyes closed as those visions continued on like if someone had left the TV on but these were many visions all at once, like threads intertwined together. She tryied over the year to sit still and focus on some spot in the room, it did not work, she was alway frusterated that there seemed no way to shut of or at the very least slow them down. Over the year in differant hospitals they tried differant meds, but each one made her overwhelmingly sluggish, numb, sleepy, uncordinated, shaky and a host of other side effects, one drug she was one even set off a string of seizures.

Here at this place, not once did the kind doctor ever push a drug towards her and rarly even mentioned medication, maybe once, if she needed it. The only thing she did need a few times was a double dose of Advil. Sky felt comfortable around him, he never touched her, he knew what that problem was and never pushed her to much to cause her to not try anymore.

Sky wondered what this new life would be like? How would she live and where? Things filled her mind even as those plauging visions played on. Driving? She couldn't drive with these distractions, could she? No, don't think about driving, not now. She thought to herself. Something to think about down the line but not now, it's not the time too.

Sky's thoughts were interupted when the door to her room opened and the nurse turned on the light. "Ahh good your awake, I need your vitals and your food tray is here. Can you sit up please?" She asked as Sky moved slowly to force herself to move to a sitting position with her legs hanging off the side of the bed, she had her hands at ther side holding on.

"You feeling better today?" The nurse quized. Sky srugged her shoulders, silant she was as she let the nurse do her job, blood pressure, tempeture, heart beat and such. Sky noticed that the nurse did not even glance up at the wall, her eyes had avoided it all this time. Does her vision scare her too? "Any word on getting some paint to cover that wall?" Sky asked. "I think someone was coming later to do something to it." The nurse said even avoiding the topic almost all together.

The nurse brought in her tray and Sky took it from her and placed it on her bed, her back of course to that wall with the drawing. Under the dome today was breakfast ham steaks, scrambled eggs, toast, an apple that she would save for later, yogurt, apple juice and a bottle of water. Sky wanted to eat but found it increasing hard to do so. Lifting the fork she took some egg on the end of the spines and slowly brought it to her mouth and ate it. She had to eat, she knew that, she was already nearly underweight. She sighed and replaced the dome over the plate, moving the apple, the juice and water to the nightstand. The yogurt, she had a few spoonfuls and left the rest on the tray.

What time was it? When was the kind doctor coming? She thought, what time did he say? She could not remember.
Where was her notebook? She couldn't remember. sighing, she got up, placed the tray on the floor by the door and went into the bathroom for a shower and to brush her teeth. Fresh scrubs, still no hair dryer yet. It was only her thrid day but it felt like a month. Time now seemed painfully slow.
She got back into bed, without the covers on her, her eyes open and her mind lost amoung those visions.

Tag: @havelock

[Nathan Havelock]

Of Visions and Voices

Yet again, Sky was on Nate’s list of patients to be seen. She was getting quite a lot of intensive attention, perhaps partly because of the perceived usefulness of her power and partly because she was likely to be discharged quite early. Her recovery so far had been swift – a clear sign of her real issue finally being identified. Of course she would probably require further mental health support upon discharge in the community, but Nate was confident that she wasn’t suffering from a psychiatric disorder at this point. Everything stemmed from her status as a metahuman.

“How is she?” he asked Sky’s nurse, a tall and sharp-featured woman called Angela, as she passed him some notes in the office.

“Better by the day – still quiet,” Angela added with a shrug. “She won’t need us much longer. No one’s covered up her wall yet, by the way. I tried not to draw attention to it, but she’s asking for paint.”

Nate frowned. “Huh, one of the janitors was supposed to take care of that yesterday. Maybe he’ll come round later today.”

“That’s what I said. Oh, she wasn’t very interested in breakfast today, I guess that might have something to do with it.”

Right – Sky was clearly still quite uncomfortable with her power and the wall served as a constant reminder. He’d already marked her as a candidate for counselling once she was ready to go home so hopefully that could help her – he’d rather get her out of the MNRU as quickly as possible so she didn’t end up a permanent, over-worked resident like Claire.

He thanked Angela quickly, glancing through the notes as he walked to Sky’s room. Vitals all great, no concerning observations noted besides the relatively small amount of breakfast eaten. Still, at least she’d had something.

Nate knocked on the door, waiting for Sky to open it. He called through as he waited, “Hi Sky, it’s Dr Havelock here to see you! How are you today?”

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While Sky laid in bed, trying to avoid the visions within her head, a knock on the door broke the silence. "Come in" She said as she stayed prone on the bed for a while more as the kind doctor came in and took a seat near her. She would sit up facing him, trying to sum up the courage to talk about what happened last night with Brian. It would be very noticable to anyone that Sky had sat in such a way to avoid being able to see 'the wall' at all.

She turned her head to glance out the window, then turned to face the kind doctor. "I met that kid down a couple of doors last night, I was trying to help him, but I think I made things worse." Her head lowered and her voice was almost a whisper as she continued. "He was stuttering and I thought I could help him by . . ." she gestured with her hands "reading his thoughts, but just a bare glance and I had pulled away because I heard alot of voices in his head." There was a moment of pause. "He seemed to get mad and kept asking what I saw?" There was that fear plastered on her face and clearly seen her eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt him, I swear!" she continued. "He said he thought I was ok but that he was messed up before he last last night." Another awkward silence followed.

Sky would suddenly change the subject. "Are people scared of me? scared of what I can do and such?" Sky turned to reach for the glass of water on her nightstand, taking a small sip she would hold the glass in her hands, her eyes watching the water swirl in the glass as she moved it. A clear avoidance of topics at hand.

[Nathan Havelock]

Of Visions and Voices

Nate hadn’t been expecting the next words out of Sky’s mouth at all. She’d invited him relatively cheerfully compared to the way she’d been when he first met her, though she was lying on the bed and averting her gaze from the wall that had yet to be covered up. As he took a seat, she sat up to face him – glancing briefly out of the window before getting straight to what was on her mind. It was a startling level of confidence, all things considered, even though her voice was quiet and her head down. Nate was all about the tiny victories when it came to progress in his patients.

That kid – who could she mean? Ah, new guy – Harris. He was young, about Sky’s age, and had recently arrived straight out of some incident that had landed him in casualty. Nate believed he was due to meet him at some point and had heard brief staff room chatter of him, so he was quite intrigued to hear what Sky had to say about him.

“That’s so great of you to try to help him,” Nate assured her comfortingly, wondering how the two had even crossed paths in the first place. Sky continued to explain the situation, referring far more openly now to her ability to read thoughts that she had quietly and briefly admitted the day before. All she’d said then was, “I hear people talking.” It was a good sign that already, within less than twenty four hours, she was pretty boldly referring to the fact that she could hear people’s thoughts when she touched them.

A mind-reading precog? Now he definitely needed to get her away from the MNRU before Dr. Williams showed much more of an interest, or else she’d never leave.

“First… thank you for being so honest with me, Sky. I really appreciate it. Second, I love that you’re trying to use your abilities positively, that’s a great step in the right direction.” He smiled confidently.

“Third, I’m not sure how much you know about this young man, and I can’t discuss his confidential details with you anyway, but it seems that his alarm is more of a defensive reaction, rather than fear or pain just because of your reactions. Somebody getting inside your head when you have your own troubles to deal with is probably quite shocking. I believe you – I know you weren’t trying to hurt him.”

Nate considered her question. “People react differently to the unknown, and your powers are no different. Some people might be scared, I suppose, but others might be very, very interested and find them really cool.” And some might seek to use them for their own benefit. “I think most of the world is pretty accepting of metahuman abilities at this point, though. So don’t worry.”

He looked up at the wall. “I guess somebody will be around later to paint over this for you – I asked yesterday so it must just be at the end of a very long list of janitorial demands. Is it upsetting you?”

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Why did Sky feel so down about helping someone? She loved doing those kind of things. Sure the kid did not react as she thought he would. How was she going to fix things between her and Brian? It was surely a relief that the kind doctor did not seem mad about her trying to help Brian. He had that reassuring voice that always put Sky at ease. He even seemed proud that she was trying to use her power in a positive way. He even was thinking that Brian's reaction to her pulling away was defensive and he told her that people reactions to her ability might be different and there maybe some people that fear the unknown, but not to worry.

He told her that the janitor hopefully would be by today to cover the wall up. The kind doctor did ask her if it was upsetting her.

Sky put one leg up on the bed and she adjusted her weight better to balance herself. "Yeah, it kind of does, I mean there is something scary to be able to see in the future and then its down right scary when your own body does something on its own, like your not in control and things happen" Sky had that fearful look on her face, something that she hated but it was true, she was scared, scared of her visions. Sure she saved some people, hopefully as she was really never told what happened to that situation. She did not get her notebook back, maybe it became evidence? She had written other things in there other than that soul vision on the building bombing.

Maybe living drugged up as a living zombie is better? At least she would be so numb that she didn't care. What kind of life is that thought, really? Yet, is this life better? Scared of something you cant control and that your own body reacts to? Sky let out a long sigh.

"I don't know what to do, I want to help people, I do not want to scare them, but you know what, I am more scare of myself then anyone else is, why? because I can't control the visions at all. I can learn to live with the telepathy because all I have to do is avoid touching others, but I can't avoid the visions." Sky said as she lowered her head like a puppy that did something wrong. There the truth was out and the world did not implode, there was a weight that felt like was lifted.

[Nathan Havelock]

Of Visions and Voices

It was all about control for Sky. She had gone so long feeling like she completely lacked it. She hated her powers because she didn’t feel in control of them and that was probably a stronger, more internalised fear to her than anything the actual content of the visions or thoughts she had heard could induce. So of course, the constant reminder on the wall that she wasn’t in total control would bother her.

“Yes, lots of people who sleep-walk describe a similar discomfort at knowing that their bodies have been operating independently – I can’t say I’ve ever done it, but you’re not alone in your concern. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately which can trigger sleep-walking episodes – I imagine something similar is happening for you. In any case, I’ll ask you to keep an eye on it for a while in case it happens again and, hopefully once you’re home and under less stress, we can see whether the activity from sleep-visions stops or whether we need to prescribe you some sedatives.”

At least she hadn’t been doing anything to endanger herself or others, simply drawing. He would save sedatives for a last resort in case further incidents became too distressing for her to manage.

“You are clearly a good person, of course you don’t want to scare anyone. And believe me, you aren’t very scary,” he added teasingly. He pulled a horrific face. “I’m scarier!”

Setting the jokes aside, Nate fixed her with a look and began to gently dive into what she was saying. “Can you tell me exactly why you want to avoid touching others? I want to hear how you’re thinking about this.”

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Sky listened intently to the kind doctor talk about her sleep drawing that he called sleep walking, even though she did not do any walking but uncontrollably wrote and drew on the wall of her room. Neverless she wanted to hear him out however at the word 'sedatives' Sky reacted.

"NO! NO! I do not want any pills or shots! I don't want to feel like a zombie again! Please no meds!" Sky said with that pleading matter of fact voice that was becoming a defensive mechanism more then anything at this point. Her fear of that numb, zombie like feeling that she had enough of in the past hospitals was more then enough. Even though there were times that maybe she wanted that feeling back as a way to steam the tide of visions that plagued her.

"Your not scary, I'm the one that's scary, I don't even like myself like this, how could anyone else even bear to look at me like this?" Sky said as she gestured with her hands waving up and down her body.

When the kind doctor wanted her to tell him about why she was fearful of touching others. She looked away, her eyes wandering towards the window, as her mind searched for the right words to describe why. She looked back at him, leaning slightly forward as her hands gripped the side of the bed to keep her from falling. "I hear voices in peoples head" after she sat back in the middle of the bed in an indian style, pulling the pillow to her chest and planting her face into it as she felt tears forming in her eyes. Sky didn't want the kind doctor to see her crying, yet again.

Gathering some strength she looked up, a tear falling from the corner of one eye "Thoughts, voices, do you understand?" Sky asked with that needy, pleading voice of hers. "I do not want to hear them, so if I don't touch others, I don't hear them, period. no touch, no voices." Sky had added.

Sky thought that maybe the kind doctor thought she was now a real monster, one that he would surly drug up to control and keep her from knowing his or anyone else thoughts. Not that Sky wanted to know because she did not want to know, she was scared of what others thought, many of what they thought of her then anything else.

"I do not feel good" She said, maybe he would leave her alone now? No she didn't want him to go, yet she did. That conflict would play on though out the time he stayed. Sky just wanted to sleep, at least then the visions didn't bother so much even though they played on even while she was sleeping.

[Nathan Havelock]

Of Visions and Voices

Sky reacted quite aggressively at the mention of sedatives, as though Nate had been suggesting they keep her under 24/7. Far from it – Nate was confident that she could be discharged into the care of a community team as soon as possible, hopefully before Dr. Joyce Williams could really get her hands on Sky’s powers, and as such wasn’t exactly keen on limiting her access to daily activities of living.

“I would never prescribe any kind of dosage that would turn you into a zombie, Sky,” Nate assured her calmly. “And this is a long-term idea anyway, based on helping you deal with the visions you have in your sleep. If you’d rather do so without the help of medication, I’m sure we can get you there. Like I said, it may be stress-related.”

He was always understanding when patients wanted to avoid medication, even though he always likened it to glasses for the visually impaired or cochlear implants for the hearing impaired. Sure, some medication had greatly unwanted side effects for some patients, but sometimes it was all about finding the right balance or specific drug rather than swearing off a medicinal route altogether.

Still, at this stage when Sky’s prognosis was looking fairly promising, Nate was reluctant to push her in that direction if she didn’t want it.

She didn’t find his scary face funny. She was too focused on herself, apparently convinced that she herself looked scary. “Look at you like this? What, a perfectly normal-looking young woman? You don’t look scary at all, Sky.” He wondered what it was she found in her appearance that she thought would unnerve others.

It clearly upset her to talk about the telepathy and she began crying once more – her tears never-ending. “That’s fine, you clearly respect others’ privacy and you don’t want to invade it. Have you ever tried telling anybody that you can do that? Maybe a close family member or friend? You might find that they don’t mind and are still happy to give you hugs,” he added with a smile.

Nate paused. “I don’t mind if you accidentally read my thoughts. Even purposefully – I’ve got nothing to hide. So that’s one less person you have to worry about!”

Finally she ended with an admission that she wasn’t feeling good. “That’s perfectly okay, Sky. You’ve been through a lot, but I promise I will try to help you feel better. Alright?” He met her gaze with the most comforting look he could conjure, every word the truth.

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Sky could remember the first time she started "seeing" things, about a year ago. She was scared to tell what was happening to her. Slowly she had withdrawn and became silent. Her mother could do nothing to come out of her room. After some time her mother would put her in the local hospital where their answer to her silence was drugs. The feeling of drowning in mud was an understatement. About the only good thing was she didn't care about anything, she was numb and tired almost all the time, yet the visions in her head were like looking through heavy fog.

The memory was broken by the kind doctor talking about how meds needed to be adjusted sometimes but could be some benifit and he assured her that she wouldn't feel like a zombie.
Maybe it would help at least while she was asleep, something she was doing more and more of as a way of not having to deal with the visions while she was awake. However right now she rather not go the way of being medicated save Advil for the headahces and migraines that she had frequently.

The kind doctor was telling she didn't 'look' scary. Sky would go on to tell him "I didn't mean looks par sa' but what I can do, people will think I am a monster, they will be scared of what I can do now." Her eyes were wet with tears and they were red and sore from all her sobbing, something she didn't even realise she was doing unless tears dripped onto her lips or such. She had been so focused on avoidance of the visions, something she still could not control the least.

The kind doctor kept talking about her telepathy, he asked if she had told anyone. "No, other then you and Brian and look where that got me, he was upset. No, no I rather not hear others, I have enough to deal with the visions. Its about the only way I can control the that, no touch, no hear. Simple. I wish I could have the visions stop even for a moment, but I can't." Sky said and at the end almost fell into tears but clearly she was attempting to hold back anymore crying, her eyes were sore enough as it was.

"Doc, please, I don't want to know your thoughts or anyone elses, ok? end of subject." Sky's avoidance was clear.

After trying to get the doctor to leave by saying she didn't feel good, he went only to tell her that he promised to help her feel better.

"If you want to help me, please find a way to stop these visions, I can't take it . . ." Her voice suddenly stopped and she turned her gaze out the window. 'No, not again' Sky thought to herself as she felt that sensation like when the bombing vision came. She closed her eyes and whispered "NO!" as she braced herself on the bed to keep from falling.

[Nathan Havelock]

Of Visions and Voices

Nate frowned, folding his arms. “Sky, you need to listen to me. Believe me when I say that people are not going to think you’re a monster. That’s not the world we live in. People look up to Heroes with all kinds of amazing, powerful abilities – just look at Paladin.” He smirked briefly to himself at the mention of his girlfriend’s alter ego. “You could call her a monster based on her destructive capabilities, but she uses her powers for good so she’s this country’s most famous and beloved Hero. You see?”

He offered her a soft, reassuring smile. “I know it feels difficult when you don’t feel in control, but with practice it will get more familiar, I promise.”

Listening to Sky’s thoughts on her telepathy, Nate could certainly understand why she was choosing to avoid all physical contact. It wasn’t out of an innate fear of touching people, but rather the mind-reading that came with it, and that was a perfectly reasonable and logical conclusion.

“It’s good that you have that off-switch. We should definitely work on helping you to adjust to hearing thoughts eventually though – accidents happen and you don’t want to be caught completely off-guard. Baby steps though. Like I said – eventually.”

He wasn’t about to let Sky close off that path so finally. Her ‘end of subject’ was a good try, but he could see that she was just trying to revert back to the denial and avoidance that she wallowed in for so long.

Suddenly Sky gripped the bed, her eyelids slamming shut. Not again. She’d said that she saw visions all the time – this one must be particularly vivid and consuming. Nate moved closer – not so close as to touch her, of course – and watched her cautiously, looking for signs that she was coming to.

“Sky? Was that another vision?”

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Her soar eyes, those haunting, pleading eyes of her look towards the kind doctor as he would explain that people look up to people like her, those with powers. A cringe, 'power' no not a power, not for her a curse, one that she did not like or want. The feeling of lose of control was clearing taking hold on her and it showed.

She was silent as the kind doctor talked to her about her telepathy. At least with that she had some control over it as she just refused to touch or be touched by anyone. Look what happened when she tried to help Brian. No never again. Her sad face and her attempt for close the subject failed. The kind doctor wouldn't fall for that.

The the vision had gripped her. If she only didn't flinch when it came like a lightening bolt, the kind doctor would not have pulled closer to make sure she was ok.
She would sit up and shake off the feeling and the vision. She was not going to go though that again. Sky would have to try something else to keep the visions at bay. Drugs? Sure but she a fraught the kind doctor on them already, he would know something was up if she suddenly wanted something to dull her senses.

"No, no vision" Sky lied as she held back not only tears but also the vision, another one that would plage her for the near future. No she didn't want to go though that, she didn't want the kind doctor to know what was really going on. "No, I'm fine, just tired." Sky again lied as she would turn her back on the doctor and lay down, placing her head on the pillow and attempted to fall asleep.

Maybe the kind doctor would leave? Maybe. If he stayed, that would be ok to, but for now she just wanted to sleep, to escape to hide, to flee not over the vision but her so called "power".

[Nathan Havelock]

Of Visions and Voices

He hadn’t known Sky very long, but she wasn’t a great liar and Nate had long ago clued into her avoidance tactics and avid denial of her own metahuman abilities. Her coping strategies were clear, if not entirely effective. Nate could see the distress in those eyes – mildly surprised not to see tears in them for once.

“I’m fine, just tired.”

It was a lame excuse, followed quickly by Sky turning away from him in an attempt to avoid the obviousness of the lie. Nate waited for a few careful seconds, watching to see if she would address it in her own time, and then carefully sat down on the end of the bed to try and catch her eye as he spoke.

“Sky, I heard you very clearly saying “No” – it doesn’t seem like you’re fine.”

Another careful pause.

“Sky, it’s very important for your recovery that you’re honest with me so I know how to help you. Now, you don’t have to tell me what you saw. If you’re managing to suppress it that’s some great progress for you. But I think you just had another strong vision. Am I right?”

They both knew that if she lied now it would be obvious, but it was more a test of Sky’s honesty and openness than it was a confirmation of the vision. He could only hope that she trusted him enough to at least admit to it. The content of the vision wasn’t really important to him at this stage; Nate was concerned with helping Sky accept and thus feel more in control of her powers rather than helping her to utilise them.

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Sky laid there on the bed, her head on the pillow still facing away from the kind doctor. She could hear him and felt the bed move slightly as he sat on the edge. She moved her legs away from, now almost curled in a fetal position. Both hands under her pillow, her hair fell sloppily over her face. At this point she didn't care about what she looked like, who's going to see her in a hospital room anyway, save the kind doctor, a nurse or two and maybe a rare chance of Brian?

Visions and thoughts all swirled together inside the thin girls head. Her mind working to make sense of what the teen saw within that head of hers. Yet, what was just about to happen would catch her and maybe the kind doctor off guard. For Sky the outcome could prove disastrous and send the young one in a free fall.

That feeling that Sky gets before big visions washed over her again. She stayed stiff in her bed but a soft "Not again" escaped her lips. She tried to force whatever this vision was out but it was useless. Unknowing to Sky or even the kind doctor she would be seeing not one major vision but two, one tied to her mother.

Suddenly she sat up tears uncontrollably welled and fell from her eyes that now clearly she had that trance like stare. In almost a swift move Sky grabbed the kind doctors notebook and pen and began to draw. With automatic like movement she would draw, to the kind doctor however it would look like a jumbled mess as the two visions faught for the same space together. As she drew, her mouth opened slightly and "Mom" came out.

Her auto drawing would last nearly an hour and take up several pages of the kind doctors notebook. Once done, the exhausted body of Sky would slump backward and she would fall into a coma like state for a few hours.

Tag: @havelock